I just don’t get myself this year. Neither do I get everyone else around me. I don’t know how I got so sensitive, insecure and paranoid this year. I’ve change. I just don’t seem to get how things work right now. Right now, I don’t know if self aware is equal to fake and I don’t know if it’s wrong being contented with what I have. Mr Chiam has a talk with us during math lesson and some of the thing he said really hit me (literally). I have not been taking things seriously since secondary one. I know it’s late, but, I got to try no matter what. It’s not a choice, it’s a freaking must. I don’t know if I’ll ever do what I promise myself to do what I’m suppose to do. But, I’ll try.

I don’t want to think about the attitudes, actions and all because I know that, no matter how good you do. People will always have something negative to say. I don’t know if I’ve tried. But, from today onward, I’ll try to keep that quote in my head. I really can’t take all these mentally torture that I cause myself to have. I’ve also got to stop scrutinizing every single action that people do. I’ve so many conflicting and self destruct thoughts in my mind. But, I reckon this is not the best space to blurt it all out.

Really, really hope this post will serve as a reminder and promise to myself. Please. I really don’t know what’s becoming of me. I’m just so tired. Both physically and mentally. I need to learn how to let go.